Kaiser's Reich

The Dana Point News:
the Newspaper About Nothing

Some communities enjoy a fairly free public discourse. Unfortunately, Dana Point is not one of those communities. In 1977 south Orange County had the benefit of five independent newspapers: The Los Angeles Times, the Orange County Register, the Dana Point News, the Daily Pilot, and the San Clemente Sun/Post. Today, in 1998, there are only two media interests in south Orange County, even though such nameplates as the Dana Point News and the Sun/Post still exist as publications. This is because the Times and the Register have bought out the three independent papers.

Of all these publications, only the Dana Point News specializes in news that is of particular interest to Dana Point residents, and it touts its monopoly on the dissemination of information in town by using the pretense of being a small-town newspaper. The problem with this, however, is that the editor of the Dana Point News appears to be unconcerned with the standards of real journalism. With editor Dennis Kaiser at the helm, the local newspaper for Dana Point has all the depth of a Neighborhood Watch newsletter. And if one were to attempt to psychoanalyze Mr. Kaiser from the topics and perspective he insists upon in his publication, one might come to the conclusion that Mr. Kaiser only came to journalism because he failed to qualify for what his true aspiration must be, which would appear to be that of policeman.

The editor's bearing has all the hallmarks of a boss who revels in his role as local newspaper tycoon, who is admitted into the confidences of all the powerful and influential people in town. It is the typical attitude of a little fish in a little pond, imagining that what he has to say actually has importance. Only that sense of imperious power could justify front-page "news" like "Reading Safari in Rain Forest," or "Tut of Tallships May Visit." Here is a front-page news item on the possibility that an event may take place in the future. What school of journalism did Mr. Kaiser attend?

Most tellingly, however, is not just the inane articles he wastes front-page space on, but the fact that really significant news is buried in the Police Blotter. Near-riots at the beach, and public mass fist fights at the Ritz-Carlton, get buried in the back pages, and take up about 5 inches of copy. Instead, Dana Point residents are treated to "A 'Tail' of Two Animal Charities," (which is not to imply that there is nothing important about animal charities, but you can be certain that most people would not mind reading about the local animal charity on page 3).

On the other hand the editor assumes the bureaucratic perspective of the police and the City Government, holding the people of Dana Point at arms length, as potential law breakers. The best article that really exposed this attitude had to do with the PAL lanes at the San Onofre police checkpoint set up by the INS. No one at Dana Point On-Line has ever encountered any Dana Point native who holds the opinion that the checkpoint is a benefit to the community; instead, there is a general consensus of the checkpoint being a burden and a threat, not because Dana Pointers are all criminals, but because it violates the basic spirit of American concepts of justice. The article in question posed the issue in such a way, that it insinuated that anyone who opposed the checkpoint must necessarily be up to no good, implying that all the Dana Pointers through the years who resented being challenged by uniformed officers over one hundred miles north of the Mexican-American border, must have criminal intentions. The article also very blithely dismissed the fact that the FBI was running 5,000 background checks on motorists who applied for the new PAL dashboard unit. How more arbitrary can one get than motorists seeking to use a car lane on the freeway?

A more recent example of the editor's love affair with law enforcement can be found in the front-page picture of the police services' new ATV, which accompanies the bicycle officers, who sneak up on teenagers in the harbor and on the streets, who may be doing harmless -- yet illegal -- things like smoking marijuana. This relates to the recent bust of two men for impersonating police, and robbing a victim of $300 with a fake gun. We certainly expect the police to enforce the law, but when does some sense enter the picture? We have to ask ourselves if a $4,000 ATV is worth a few arrests of juveniles, and more importantly, if the $40,000 we pay officers each, per year, in salaries, and the millions we spend equipping them, is worth spectacular successes like apprehending a couple of dropouts with a fake gun. There are serious criminals at large, and while Mr. Kaiser heaps laurel wreaths on his heroes for catching some of the stupidest men in the case books, hard debates go unreported, such as why the police almost started a riot at the concert put on by the Monkeys rock band.

As evidence of the poor journalistic standard being practiced at the Dana Point News, in one columnists' article (who shall remain nameless because it would not be fair to blame the employee for the employer's failure), the sub-title is : "NON-NEWS FLASHES… include good report Renaissance Café business is up sharply since the change of management and attitude… my companion didn't think the food was special, but liked the ambulance…" It is safe to assume that what the author intended to say was "ambiance," but then again, the art of communication being so low on the priority list over at the News, who knows what was intended by the author.

On July 9th Kaiser decreed in his "Setting the Letters Standard" editorial, a whole regime for publishing letters to the editor sent in to the News. The first thing about the "Letters Standard," however, is that if Kaiser doesn't like your opinions, they won't see the light of day. But he goes on and on, implying that by just following his newly imposed ukase, anyone's letter might be published. For the common people anxious to be heard, they are informed that letters that express the same sentiments will not be published, only the one Kaiser likes the best; and he defines this in terms of an example of how many people support developing the Headlands by building a McDonalds' there. While he declares that he will allow criticism of ideas, he will not allow "personal attacks." The fact that only he will decide what the difference is, makes the whole standard unenforceable. Then, of course, he asserts that he will print facts and not fiction, but this is without acknowledging the fact that the whole process of freedom of speech and dialogue and press has to do with flushing out the facts, and they are not always immediately obvious. By putting evidentiary requirements on ordinary letter writers (and you can be sure that city council members, police officers, state legislators, and political party members will be exempt), the end effect is that they will be silenced.

Then as proof of the efficacy of his new policies, there is a letter published in the very same issue of the Dana Point News, that should be recognized for what it is, a portent of things to come: the new level of discourse in the Dana Point News as Dana Point's hometown newspaper. In order to demonstrate what Mr. Kaiser's new policy edict has already resulted in, the reader should take into consideration the following letter, because it speaks for itself:

I would like to suggest a modest proposal for our fair city of Dana Point. My proposal? Dog Poop, California. The new name identifies us as citizens who glorify in our dogs and their scatology. An added bonus, we are able to easily identify locals as "one of us" by their ability to not only side step dung heaps without breaking stride, but also to talk without actually inhaling. Most ingeniously, we never look down and we never pick it up. It is a part of who we are and we embrace that independence - that "we don't need no stinkin' poop laws" spirit. First we need a monument for our harbor. If need be, we'll set up a task force. Then we sell the island statue of Henry to Laguna Beach (a back-up Greeter - perhaps), let's throw in the Pilgrim statue of the two sailors. We replace them with some sort of interactive, though always tasteful and artistic, rendition of our new namesake. Killer Dana could become Killer Dog and expand their merchandise to carry Pit Bull T-shirts, thus cornering the "gangsta" market as well as the surfer venue. The Headlands Plan will finally satisfy everyone by eliminating the million dollar homes and installing an Ocean View Bark Park. Fiscally, it's no crapshoot. Just a modest proposal. Think about it.

(The writers' identity will be kept anonymous to avoid the further embarrassment of someone who obviously has too much time on their hands).

This is an editorial of Dana Point On-Line, and is published as a form of critical journalism for the betterment of the art in Dana Point.


RETURN TO DANA POINT ON-LINE NEWS INDEX